"When the going gets tough, I EAT!"
We were at my friends house when I was baffled with a bewildering question? "Peanut butter, cheese, ketchup or mayonnaise?
I told my self, "Why should I choose only one?". And before I was finished thinking about that, my body moved on impulse. I was spreading peanut butter on one loaf of bread and cheese to the other. I topped the first loaf with french fries and put the ketchup and the mayonnaise, then, the other loaf.
Thinking about giving the bizarre sandwich a bite was the hardest part of it. Good thing I was not thinking! I took a bite. I could taste the sweet nuttiness of the peanut butter, the cheesiness of the cheese, the yumminess of the ketchup-mayo plus the crunch of the fries. Indeed it was delicious!
"Smile! Everything gets a lot better after that." >=)
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Prodigal Son
"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth like pristine glass absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, and a few shatter childhood completely into jagged little pieces - beyond repair"
--The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom
I had a father, once. And he was the one who damaged me.
He was a seaman until he went overboard, literally. He went for the US and he had been staying there for the last 10 years. At first, it was good. He was able to provide for us. At one point in my life, I had a taste of a little luxury. But then, things got rough when he had to legalize his stay abroad. He has to quit his job and we had to suffer just a little setback, or so I thought!
Some time had passed since we received any decent benefit from my old man and we were heading into poverty. Little did we know about our situation because my mom did the best that she could so that we wont live poorly. She did the best she could but still, it wasn't enough. She also had to leave the country to provide for us.
I had to live with my father's sister because of our situation. I also had to transfer schools. It was at that time when I found out that my father had a family abroad. He already had 2 children with his concubine. The worst part is, his sisters had already known about it and they have not told us anything. I heard rumors but I don't just jump to conclusion. I found out about it because of the package he sent us. The first thing that I saw in the box was their family picture. I felt angry. I did not have a single clue on what the hell was that all about. How dare he send a picture of their happy family. It's just wrong. And also, I wondered If my mom knew about it and how she took it. I guess she did know about it and she was shocked and hurt by it. I also realized that he was unable to provide for us because his loin got itchy and he had to scratched it within another woman.
What I am most angry about is that my mom had to leave us because of my dad's lust. Cheating on my mom is one thing, but taking her away from us?! That's unforgivable.
Until now, we seldom receive any support from him. In three years, me and my brothers would be college graduates. In three years, we wont need him anymore. Yet, he refuse to of good help to us. Everything we hear from him are just empty promises. I am tired of listening. And when I graduate, I will work hard to have money so that I will be able to personally sue him for abandoning us.
If you are reading this, I hope you realize the pain and suffering you have brought upon us, especially me. I wish you would go to hell.
"Some wounds just wont heal..."
--The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom
I had a father, once. And he was the one who damaged me.
He was a seaman until he went overboard, literally. He went for the US and he had been staying there for the last 10 years. At first, it was good. He was able to provide for us. At one point in my life, I had a taste of a little luxury. But then, things got rough when he had to legalize his stay abroad. He has to quit his job and we had to suffer just a little setback, or so I thought!
Some time had passed since we received any decent benefit from my old man and we were heading into poverty. Little did we know about our situation because my mom did the best that she could so that we wont live poorly. She did the best she could but still, it wasn't enough. She also had to leave the country to provide for us.
I had to live with my father's sister because of our situation. I also had to transfer schools. It was at that time when I found out that my father had a family abroad. He already had 2 children with his concubine. The worst part is, his sisters had already known about it and they have not told us anything. I heard rumors but I don't just jump to conclusion. I found out about it because of the package he sent us. The first thing that I saw in the box was their family picture. I felt angry. I did not have a single clue on what the hell was that all about. How dare he send a picture of their happy family. It's just wrong. And also, I wondered If my mom knew about it and how she took it. I guess she did know about it and she was shocked and hurt by it. I also realized that he was unable to provide for us because his loin got itchy and he had to scratched it within another woman.
What I am most angry about is that my mom had to leave us because of my dad's lust. Cheating on my mom is one thing, but taking her away from us?! That's unforgivable.
Until now, we seldom receive any support from him. In three years, me and my brothers would be college graduates. In three years, we wont need him anymore. Yet, he refuse to of good help to us. Everything we hear from him are just empty promises. I am tired of listening. And when I graduate, I will work hard to have money so that I will be able to personally sue him for abandoning us.
If you are reading this, I hope you realize the pain and suffering you have brought upon us, especially me. I wish you would go to hell.
"Some wounds just wont heal..."
Cold Winds And Thunderstorms
"I was taken away before I sink in deep enough to any ones memory."
I was in my cousin's best friend's debut when this came to me. While we were eating such delicious food in such a fine place, one of my former classmates showed the crowd an audio-visual presentation about the debutant. While we were watching, I noticed that I was in the early parts of the video but as it continuous, I was literally out of the picture.
I am not mad at the one who made it, as if there was a reason to be mad about. I was just upset because there was a point in time that we were close friends and I haven't been there to take part in her most important memories.
After a long while of thinking, I realized that my high school life was equally divided in two parts. And if in one part I was not that significant, theoretically, I am not significant enough to the other.
I remember my old pals, they would go the MOA, all 3 of them and i have no idea if they were wondering if I would like to hang out with them. I got to join them once but ...I don't know, I'm just sayin'. XP
I have best friends from those different schools and every time I try to reconnect with them, I always come up short. Lack of interest, lack of resources and lack reason. Or maybe it is the fear of being rejected by people whom I left behind. I think I am afraid to know for certain that they were able to continue their lives without me. I was afraid that my presence really did not matter at all.
Maybe I was just destined to be forgotten.
"Smile! Everything gets a lot better after that." >=)
I was in my cousin's best friend's debut when this came to me. While we were eating such delicious food in such a fine place, one of my former classmates showed the crowd an audio-visual presentation about the debutant. While we were watching, I noticed that I was in the early parts of the video but as it continuous, I was literally out of the picture.
I am not mad at the one who made it, as if there was a reason to be mad about. I was just upset because there was a point in time that we were close friends and I haven't been there to take part in her most important memories.
After a long while of thinking, I realized that my high school life was equally divided in two parts. And if in one part I was not that significant, theoretically, I am not significant enough to the other.
I remember my old pals, they would go the MOA, all 3 of them and i have no idea if they were wondering if I would like to hang out with them. I got to join them once but ...I don't know, I'm just sayin'. XP
I have best friends from those different schools and every time I try to reconnect with them, I always come up short. Lack of interest, lack of resources and lack reason. Or maybe it is the fear of being rejected by people whom I left behind. I think I am afraid to know for certain that they were able to continue their lives without me. I was afraid that my presence really did not matter at all.
Maybe I was just destined to be forgotten.
"Smile! Everything gets a lot better after that." >=)
Saturday, July 10, 2010
A Little Murmuring
"Asthma: A chronic respiratory disease, often arising from allergies, that is characterized by sudden recurring attacks of labored breathing, chest constriction, and coughing."
You know what, I don't know what I did to deserve this. Why are you dong these to me? (As if you are really doing anything) But tell me why do you have such different ways to trigger my asthma?
Whether you are asleep or awake. Whether you smile or frown. Even with just one look. You make me stop moving. You make me stop thinking. You make me stop breathing.
And at the same time, you make me feel so good, so alive. And don't even let me tell you what happens when you start to pout.
Indeed, my andenophilia is getting worse. And I never felt any better.
"Smile! Everything gets a lot better after that." >=)
You know what, I don't know what I did to deserve this. Why are you dong these to me? (As if you are really doing anything) But tell me why do you have such different ways to trigger my asthma?
Whether you are asleep or awake. Whether you smile or frown. Even with just one look. You make me stop moving. You make me stop thinking. You make me stop breathing.
And at the same time, you make me feel so good, so alive. And don't even let me tell you what happens when you start to pout.
Indeed, my andenophilia is getting worse. And I never felt any better.
"Smile! Everything gets a lot better after that." >=)
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Wordplay
"If you don't mind, may I ask why me?"
Being asked who is an easy question. It's a piece of cake. Being asked when and where is hard for me. It's a tough nut to crack. But being asked why? It's a murder.
You see, I present my self to others as a jester or a court fool. I make others laugh by being THE dumb one. But in my personal opinion, I am a very smart guy. I am just lazy to think. But in that precise moment, in that exact time, I was not able to stop thinking. In my mind, there was babbling, discussing and debating. Me, my self and I did not have the slightest hint about the answer to that simple question.
My mind was in a state of chaos and the noise was overwhelming. But in all of that noise, there was silence. It was this sincere silence of wonder that made me realize that I was dreaming and at the same time awake.
"...because it was you? I'm not really sure but your presence is enough to make me happy."
That was all I could I could reply. Yeah, yeah! I know it's lame. I know it sucks. But don't blame me, it was her who made all my veins and nerves go haywire.
Maybe the way she talks. Maybe the way she smiles. Maybe the way she makes me smile. Maybe because she is fun. Maybe the way she says hi after she knocks and you opened the door. Maybe the mystery. Maybe the way she presents herself. Maybe the fact that she showed me care when I most needed it. Maybe I mistook that act for care. Maybe because she is the perfect mix of finesse and crazy. Maybe the way everything seems so special when it is from her. Or maybe because she was simply extraordinary.
"Smile! Everything gets a lot better after that." >=)
Being asked who is an easy question. It's a piece of cake. Being asked when and where is hard for me. It's a tough nut to crack. But being asked why? It's a murder.
You see, I present my self to others as a jester or a court fool. I make others laugh by being THE dumb one. But in my personal opinion, I am a very smart guy. I am just lazy to think. But in that precise moment, in that exact time, I was not able to stop thinking. In my mind, there was babbling, discussing and debating. Me, my self and I did not have the slightest hint about the answer to that simple question.
My mind was in a state of chaos and the noise was overwhelming. But in all of that noise, there was silence. It was this sincere silence of wonder that made me realize that I was dreaming and at the same time awake.
"...because it was you? I'm not really sure but your presence is enough to make me happy."
That was all I could I could reply. Yeah, yeah! I know it's lame. I know it sucks. But don't blame me, it was her who made all my veins and nerves go haywire.
Maybe the way she talks. Maybe the way she smiles. Maybe the way she makes me smile. Maybe because she is fun. Maybe the way she says hi after she knocks and you opened the door. Maybe the mystery. Maybe the way she presents herself. Maybe the fact that she showed me care when I most needed it. Maybe I mistook that act for care. Maybe because she is the perfect mix of finesse and crazy. Maybe the way everything seems so special when it is from her. Or maybe because she was simply extraordinary.
"Smile! Everything gets a lot better after that." >=)
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