"Lucky"

"Never fall in love with a friend", is what i told my self. And i did not listen.

We have been classmates for almost 3 years now and little did i know that i would fall for her. She is not cute but she is pretty. she is not tall but she is kinda hot. She is not girly but she is fun. She is persistent. She is smart. She is very influential. And i just love how she makes me shut up.

I'd be lying if i say that i did not see it coming. I did. Once. And i blurred it from my vision. And suddenly, it hit me dead on. And when i think of it, it is kinda ironic because the one who's turning me gay is now my reason for being a guy. the feeling was already overwhelming when i realized it. And if suppressing the feeling was hard, keeping it a secret was harder. I had to tell her or I'd burst like a balloon. But the hardest part is making her believe that it was true. I told her i love her a dozen times. As expected, she did not believe me. So, i ended up dong an illogical but effective physical action also a dozen times. After an ounce of tear and a couple of painful bites, i think she believed me.

After that, i had no idea how she felt. Kinda pissed, i guess. But me, i felt good. and worried. and scared. Good because keeping something that intense was a killer. Worried because things would probably be weird ...and awkward from now on. (i hope not) Scared because i might lose my best friend because of my stupidity and lack of control.

And let me clear things up. I don't want an "us", i don't intend to make her mine. I'm just happy with what already is and what we have right now. If you know who I'm blogging about, please do keep your mouth shut because you might mess things more than they are right now. I don't want to lose her.

"Smile! Everything gets a lot better after that." >=)